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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

heyy. havent updated in a while. i got really busy with my boyfriend. (at the time) A LOT has happend to me. a week ago i was the happiest ive ever been, honestly. my boyfrined had told me he loved me, and then wednesday i went to his birthday dinner with his family. everything was perfect, and i really thought that we were gonna last. but then thursday, he dumped me. he just said it wans't working out. no reason, no explanation, nothing. i know this sounds pathetic, but taht friday i called him and left him a long voicemail asking him over and over how he could do this to me. ive never cried soo hard, and it was just today that ive been cheering up. ive been crying non stop since he dumped me. it's just so hard, i feel so lost, i really thought we'd last. everything sucked before, but i thought i'd him to make things better. and now i don't, and that's the hardest. i just wanta  reason why, you know? i think if i knew why, i could  move on. but, today and yesterday i pretty much came to the conclusion it's the sex issue. it's the only thing that makes sense. and i'm begining to think everything he ever said to me was a lie and just a way to try to get in my pants. and it makes total sense, cause that night after his birthday (wednesday) he came backt o my house, and no one was home, and he tried, and i said i wasn't ready. then the next day he dumps me. i keep hoping maybe he'll call and tell me he misses me, but then a part of me KNOWS that he won't, that everything was a total and complete lie. but yeah, here's an updat. sorry i complained for so long. no icons =( sorryyy.

Don't say we're not right for each other,
because, the way i see it,
we're not right for anybody else.
:The Cutting Edge:

what do you do when someone stops loving you? well, you cry a
little and then you wait for the sun to come out. it always does.
- the sound of music

"I'm not allowed to fall in love," she said.
"I'm not allowed to care this much."
But when you're staying up late,
 hoping to god  he's tossing and turning,
thinking of you, it's too late already.

It brings out the worst in me when your not
around. I miss the sound of your voice, the
silence screams so loud. Cause there's no
one else since I found you.

there's only a few things i've wanted to hold onto;
one being the color of the sky so blue;
and every feeling i've ever felt
when i was touching you.

"What I wanted? I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted you to tell me there was nobody else you could ever be with and that you'd rather be alone than without me,"

nervous tic, nervous talk,
a glance, a grope, a giggle, a cough,
a breath, a bust, a touch, a pause, a lust.

Nobody has ever told me such sweet lies.

The saddest part isn't that with each passing day I feel like I need you more, but it's the fact that you don't need me at all.

I was crying alone tonight, and I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you.

cheers to lost love and broken hearts, and
no matter what you can never fully forget.

I'll have you know i'm scared to death
That everything that you had said to me was just
A lie until you left
Now i'm hoping just a little bit stronger
Hold me up just a little bit longer
I'll be fine, i swear
I'm just gone beyond repair

You gave away the things you loved,
and one of them was me.

"all we have is now, and right now we have each other."
-crossroads

My mobile phone quit as I tried to let my wife know that I was caught in traffic and would be late for our anniversary dinner.  I wrote a message on my laptop asking other motorists to call her, printed it on a portable ink jet and taped it to my rear windshield.  When I finally arrived home, my wife gave me the longest kiss ever.  "I really think you love me," she said.  "At least 70 people called me and told me so."

Just ask her if she thinks about him.  She'll think back to an old memory, close her eyes, and smile.  She'll say, "Yeah, every once in a while."

When I see you the world stops.  It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you.  There's nothing else.  No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow.  The world just stops, and it is a beautiful place, and there is only you.  Just you, and my eyes staring at you.

i won't miss you like you think that i will,
but you'd be glad to know that i'm not doing so well.
don't waste your words saying things that we both know aren't true.
but i hope you think of me sometimes like i think about you.
i wonder if you're happy now, manipulating someone new.

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill,
thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me,
what hurts more is I would still die for you.



Monday, July 07, 2008

please cmnt!

You know how it is in the beginning when you first
fall in love; you can`t eat, can`t sleep & just getting
a call from him makes your whole day? If love could
be described in one word it would have to be trust.
Trust that he really likes you; trust that he won`t
cheat on you; trust that he will always be there for
you; trust that  you don`t have to worry about him
breaking up with you & that he will always stick up
for you no matter what; trust that he will
never fall in love with another girl; trust that he
won`t get sick of you & trust he likes
you as much as you like him.

She was happier than ever lying there in his arms,
her fingers linked with his. He looked deep into her
eyes & whispered "perfect fit", then kissed her.
They were completely in love.


there's only a few things i've wanted to hold onto;
one being the color of the sky so blue;
and every feeling i've ever felt
when i was touching you.


when i'm holding your hand, i'm holding
on to the best thing that's ever happened to me.


maybe we're moving too fast, i don't know.
but for the first time in my life, i don't really care.
-Summerland.

Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you
know that what I feel is true.
& I'm only me when I'm with you.


With you, I feel perfected; I like the
fact that someone like you sees something in me.
-One Tree Hill

You’ll find me at the end of my rope
hanging on your every word. I'm finally getting
the hang of getting hung up on people like you.

I asked myself one hundred times why...
Did we even bother? Why did we even try?
But I miss you more than I did before,
I showed you my heart and you showed me the door.


Tuesday, July 01, 2008

holding hands, they walk along.
inside their hearts they're singing their favorite song


i'm starting to realize that we live in order
to change someone else's life.

smile baby; suck in your gut.

write me off, give up on me. cause darling what did you expect?
i'm just off, a lost cause, a long shot, don't even take this bet.

do you ever think i doubted you because on your list of things,
i was always second best.

I didn't even like that song
until I heard you sing it.


I'm taking pictures in my mind so I can save them for a rainy day.
It's hard to make conversation when he's taking my breath away.


Those random kisses on my forehead,
and the way you smile every time you see me..
that means the world to me.

"you know how i know i'm still in love with you?
because every morning i wake up,
the first thing i want to see is your face."
-P.S. i love you

if i'm one, and one and two is me and you,
then three's a place i swore i'd never get to.
and the worst is you changed my mind.
i've never been much the nervous kind, but you aint nervous.

But I could not recall A more perfect fall
Cause when I looked up into your eyes It didn't hurt at all


Saturday, June 28, 2008

yesyesyes

Every girl has that one boy that she`ll never get over. That one guy that makes you laugh all the time. That one that gives you butterflies just when someone mentions his name. That one who remembers all the stupid things you say & reminds you about it months from now. That one who has his name written all over your heart. That one who you compare to everyone. That one you never get sick of talking or hearing about. That one you cry over & over about. That one that no one can understand "why him." That one everyone thinks you can do better than. That one you ask why her & not me. That one when you first saw him you knew you loved him.

Don't blame me for walking away
when I never heard you begging me to stay.
[c] quotedom

I look on the back of the picture
Just a short synopsis with year and date
We look so perfect,
But the truth is
I remember it was killing me.

go ahead and buy yourself a drink
cause you know you're deserving of it
go ahead and cry yourself to sleep
and think how you hate me so bad.
you know hate me so bad.

You’re the reason this city feels just like home.
When we’re together.

the hardest part about seeing them together
is thinking back on all the late nights,
wondering "when will i be good enough?"
and knowing that i never will be.

ask me why i keep on loving you when it's clear that
you don't feel the same way for me.. the problem is
that as much as i can't force you to love me, i can't
force myself to stop loving you.

it’s too late to say you’re sorry.
you’ve been gone from here too long.
I hope you found what you were missing.
cause I don’t miss you here at all.

It`s when I cry myself to sleep at night & it hits me how much
I would give to hold you at that very moment.

It`s when I`m standing six feet away from you & not being
able to find the words to tell you how much I love you &
how much I miss you that I want to just scream to the whole
room that I`m still in love with you.

i felt a lump rise in my throat, raw and throbbing,
but even as the tears came,
i wasn't sure who i was crying for.

cause i know you found someone new, and the saddest part is.
he doesn't mean a thing to you. you'll give him a test and leave
him like all the rest. yeah, nothing but a test.
because you know that i'm the best.

wait, please don't go. i won't say, all these words on replay.
i'm okay, it's alright, good to know that you're fine.
pretending everything is right to make it better.
i'll line my make-up smeared eyes to show that i tried.
somehow you have managed to get under my skin, more than anyone ever did.
and if every hole makes a scar and every scar marks its place,
then i will never live freely without your trace, and it'll never be fair.


I ran across a picture you took of me and you crossed my mind.
I still hear you saying you love me when I close my eyes.

Time meant nothing, anything seemed real.
You kissed like fire and you made me feel like
every word you said was meant to be.
It couldn't been that easy to forget about me.

    


Sunday, June 08, 2008

wow, one of the most saddest things is stepping into your bestfriends house and seeing everything in boxes. =[ yeah, i have no life. so i'm updating. comment?

 We met for coffee and a cigarette and talked about
how feelings get when we hear a certain song
that hits the spot and puts us in a world that's not real anymore.

your the closest thing to perfect and the farthest thing from me.

You’ll take your pride, leave it behind
Or at least what pieces are left.
And you’ll move on, move on
and hopefully you’ll find some self-respect
in the bookstore on the isle
Filled with romance novels.
You’ll read your days away,
remembering what you lost.

What is heartbreak?
Is it lying on the bathroom floor trying your damnedest to breathe
while simultaneously wondering why it went wrong,
how you're gonna get up and pretend like everything is alright
and what the hell are you going to do about that hole in your chest?
Yeah, I think that’s it.

Two wrongs don't make a right, & that's
why we're not together anymore. If you're
over me, then you were never in love with me.
And yes, I'm over you because I was never
in love with you. When I said I loved you, it
was a message from my mind which was taken
over by infatuation. I'm not stupid anymore,
I realized you're not worth my time.

I'll lose myself in anguish for tonight
help me get over you
one last false apology
help me get over you


i've met a guy who's not scared to laugh at me and call me a loser when i do something dumb. a guy that'll run up behind me and cover my eyes and ask me to guess who he is, even though it's obvious. a guy who hides behind a corner and jumps out to scare me, so he'd have a reason to hold me. a guy that leaves me numberous voicemails, just cause. a guy that'd call to wake me up in the morning, because he wants to be the first voice i hear each day. a guy that would never let go of my hand. a guy that would look me in the eyes and tell me he loves me and mean it. yeah, that guy. i think i found the guy i'm suppose to give my whole heart to.

it was the kind of kiss that i could never tell my friends about out loud.
it was the kind of kiss that made me know that i was never so happy in my whole entire life.


My mirrors are stained with pain and portraits of your face

He turned around, looked right at me, and
said nothing, not even a small "hi." it was
as if the times we had spent together, the
times i had spent loving him, just weren't
important. it was like it never happened.

It's never easy to understand
why memories hold our hand,
but people let go.

i’ve been oh so scared to lose you and holding on too tight.
you forgive me in a heartbeat of this heart that beats for you.
well tomorrow’s a new day and i can’t wait to prove myself to you.


     



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